A Light at the End of the Prayer Tunnel

I'm not the first to admit that I don't understand prayer. And I won't be the last.

To be honest, life since college has been tough for me. I am one of the many Americans to graduate higher education and get hurt by the job market. Even though I graduated over three years ago, I have not had a full time job that has paid more than $8 an hour. Embarrassing, huh? Even if you don't think so, it's definitely nothing to be excited about.

As an undergrad with a degree in Ministry, I've searched for a long time to find a job.

I feel like I've done it all.

Networked.
Online searches.
Volunteered.
Followed every lead I could find.
Asked mentors for advice.

But more than anything, I prayed.

All the time.

I asked God a lot of questions.

"Why have you given me these gifts and nowhere to use them?"

"Why have you given me a passion and a vision with nowhere to implement them?"

And no answer.

I can't say how many times I said, "I should just give up."

And too many times, I was so close to a hire, but the opportunity crumbled before me.

So last year, in September, I had the idea to implement my desire to teach on a blog. That idea eventually became this site. So I wrote.

And wrote.

And wrote.

Until I found my niche.

Until I found my ministry.

Granted, this doesn't pay anything. But I have received three free books. And typically, books don't pay the bills.

I even wrote a post for people in my situation, exploring the idea of failure, and how to persevere.

But you, my readers, became my focus.

Fast forward to today.

This morning I spoke at the Cleveland Worship Center as the new Student Minister/Associate Pastor.

As I breathe a sigh of relief, I can now put to rest worries of raising a daughter. She will be born in less than a month. And I now have a way to provide for her.

Honestly, it seems unreal. Like a dream I am soon going to wake from. Like a prank about to spring on me.

But as far as I know, I have to be at the office at 8am tomorrow. You better believe I will be there, with french pressed coffee flowing through my veins.

If you are wondering, I will still be faithful to you, my readers. I will continue to write to the best of my ability. You're too good to pass up.

But as it comes to prayer, I often wonder about God's timing. Why did He wait so long?

1. Was He teaching me about patience?

2. Was He protecting me from more bad experiences?

3. Did He want me to arrive at the Cleveland Worship Center in this stage of my life?

4. Did He want me to wait till I hit the end of my rope?

I could list a thousand more reasons, and not be closer to knowing WHY.

I don't understand why God works the way He does.
I don't know.
I don't know why you're prayers are still unanswered.

But I do believe that God is good. Not always safe. Not always fun. But good.

And tomorrow, for the first time in a long time, I will know that I have a purpose, a place to implement my gifts, students to minister to, and an income to provide for my family.

And I couldn't be more excited.

A Light at the End of the Prayer Tunnel

I'm not the first to admit that I don't understand prayer. And I won't be the last.

To be honest, life since college has been tough for me. I am one of the many Americans to graduate higher education and get hurt by the job market. Even though I graduated over three years ago, I have not had a full time job that has paid more than $8 an hour. Embarrassing, huh? Even if you don't think so, it's definitely nothing to be excited about.

As an undergrad with a degree in Ministry, I've searched for a long time to find a job.

I feel like I've done it all.

Networked.
Online searches.
Volunteered.
Followed every lead I could find.
Asked mentors for advice.

But more than anything, I prayed.

All the time.

I asked God a lot of questions.

"Why have you given me these gifts and nowhere to use them?"

"Why have you given me a passion and a vision with nowhere to implement them?"

And no answer.

I can't say how many times I said, "I should just give up."

Last year, in September, I had the idea to implement my desire to teach on a blog. That idea eventually became this site. So I wrote.

And wrote.

And wrote.

Until I found my niche.

Until I found my ministry.

Granted, this doesn't pay anything. But I have received three free books. And typically, books don't pay the bills.

I even wrote a post for people in my situation, exploring the idea of failure, and how to persevere.

But you, my readers, became my focus.

Fast forward to today.

This morning I spoke at the Cleveland Worship Center as the new Student Minister/Associate Pastor.

As I breathe a sigh of relief, I can now put to rest worries of raising a daughter. She will be born in less than a month. And I now have a way to provide for her.

Honestly, it seems unreal. Like a dream I am soon going to wake from. Like a prank about to spring on me.

But as far as I know, I have to be at the office at 8am tomorrow. You better believe I will be there, with french pressed coffee flowing through my veins.

If you are wondering, I will still be faithful to you, my readers. I will continue to write to the best of my ability. You're too good to pass up.

But as it comes to prayer, I often wonder about God's timing. Why did He wait so long?

1. Was He teaching me about patience?

2. Was He protecting me from more bad experiences?

3. Did He want me to arrive at the Cleveland Worship Center in this stage of my life?

4. Did He want me to wait till I hit the end of my rope?

I could list a thousand more reasons, and not be closer to knowing WHY.

I don't understand why God works the way He does.
I don't know.
I don't know why you're prayers are still unanswered.

But I do believe that God is good. Not always safe. Not always fun. But good.

And tomorrow, for the first time in a long time, I will know that I have a purpose, a place to implement my gifts, students to minister to, and an income to provide for my family.

And I couldn't be more excited.

My Stance on Prayer and Politics

Years ago, I was into music.

And when I say into, I really mean consumed by.

Truth be told, I think I'm losing my hearing. And I think it's because I stood in the front row to see countless bands, screaming every lyric along with them. Now that all of my favorite bands have broken up, I've given away most of my CDs and my wife has to repeat herself because her deaf husband didn't hear her the first time.

Do I regret it? No way! Those days were great.

One summer, three of us drove seven hundred miles to Cornerstone, Illinois. 300 bands were scheduled to play, and I credit most of my hearing loss to those five days of rock.

One particular morning, I woke early to a stump poking out of the ground, through my sleeping bag and into my back. Rising sooner than I wanted to, I began to walk from booth to booth, stage to stage.

I happened upon the Rock for Life stage. Rock for Life was a non-profit music organization that advocated pro-life. My interest piqued, I stepped over to see an organized group in conversation. A session was just ending.

They finished with prayer. And that day, my perspective on prayer made a huge shift.

The guy leading the session ending with this conversation with God,

"God, we pray for the hearts of abortion doctors. So that they would become Your followers and leave their profession. Thus ending abortion." 

My head could not fathom the humility that I was hearing.

Jesus' words came to mind, "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even tax collectors doing that?"

Here was a guy who was praying for his enemies. Not that they would fall, but that God would spiritually change their hearts. And on such a controversial topic such as abortion, he chose to love his enemies, wishing the absolute best for them (that they would encounter God).

Sometimes, I feel like we spend too much energy trying to gain political power, rather than praying for spiritual change.

Regardless of your position on politics like abortion, America will not heal by having the right law passed, or the right person in office.

These are spiritual problems. And political solutions cannot fix spiritual problems. 

I challenge myself, and you, to have an attitude like this Rock for Life guy, to pray NOT for political, professional, or or social power.

But for hearts to be changed.

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In what ways does your spirituality affect your politics? 

The Pain of Unanswered Prayer

The question isn't, "If I pray, is God going to come through?"

In the spirit of keeping things honest, this is the question that hurts my heart, "Why does God sometimes comes through and answer our prayers, and sometimes He doesn't?"

Good people. Faithful people. Holy people. Offering very serious, honest prayers to a loving God. 

Sometimes He answers. Sometimes He doesn't.

One parent loses a child. Another's is miraculously saved. 

Cancer will miraculously heal. Other times kill. 

Some barren women beat all odds and give birth. Others remain childless. 

So what are we to make of the inconsistency. 

Of all of the examples of prayer I could give you, both answered and unanswered, I have picked two from Scripture. 

The first in Exodus 32. 

God's anger for the golden calf idolatry would bring the destruction of Israel. And God told Moses that he would create a new nation through him. 

God tells Moses, "I have seen these people (Israelites) and they are a stiff-necked people. Now leave me alone so that my anger may burn against them and that I may destroy them. Then I will make you (Moses) into a great nation." 

But Moses sought the favor of God. He prayed, as if to remind God of his love, patience, and promises for Israel. And God relented his anger. 

This is a fantastic story of how a humble man's prayers directly affected an outcome. It's easy to read this passage. Even easier to teach it, as if all you need is humility, a right relationship with God, and a faithful prayer to get what you earnestly want. 

But we contrast this story to one we read in 2 Corinthians. 

Here, we have Paul, presumably an equal to Moses' humility, relationship to God, and faithfulness to prayer. Paul talks vaguely about a 'thorn' in his flesh, given to torment him. Three times he prayed to God for healing. And God's response shakes my idea of prayer, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness." 

Or, more simply put, "No." 

So how do we view prayer in light of these two contrasting Biblical narratives? 

My attempt:

Do our prayers change the way events will unfold? Yes.

Do they ALWAYS change the way events will unfold? No. 

Does this make sense to me? Not really. 

Is this something that I can accept? Yes. 

In these two biblical accounts, we get to see behind the scenes and hear what God is thinking. But for every other extra-biblical account of prayer, we never truly know why some prayers get answered, and some don't.

Whatever cosmic and mysterious answers there are, we will likely never know. 

So I pray earnestly, knowing that my prayer COULD change the course of events. 

And when they don't, I rest in the sovereignty of God knowing that He is in control, even if that means a painful circumstance for myself or loved ones. 

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How have you come to peace with unanswered prayer?  

I Finally Found the Point

One poet said,

"Prayers like gravel

flung at the sky's window,  

hoping to attract the loved one's attention."

And that's a quote I can really relate to. All too often, it feels like I am a child, assuming that my best efforts, like throwing rocks in the air, is the way to get God's attention. Did I lose his interest? Did I do something wrong? How long should I keep this up?

I've always had a hard time with this. And it was a long time before I heard a good answer.

What's the point?

Why pray? When God already knows? And why pray when God is sovereign, anyway?

1. You may already have a satisfactory answer.
2. You may have just quit asking.
3. Or you may have just given up on prayer altogether.

Whatever the case, the story has helped me find peace with the question, what's the point?

"My pastor spent a day of hard labor installing stone steps in his backyard. The individual stones weighed between a hundred and two hundred pounds, and it took all of his strength and a few tools to maneuver them into place. His five-year-old daughter begged to help. When he suggested she just sing, to encourage him in his work, she said no. She wanted to help. Carefully, when it would not endanger her, he let her place her hands on the rocks and push as he moved them. 

He admitted later that Becky's assistance actually complicated the task. He could have built the steps in less time without her 'help'. At the end of the day, though, he had not only new steps but a daughter bursting with pride and a sense of accomplishment. "Me and Dad made steps," she announced at dinner that night. And he would be the first to agree."

God could do so much greater without us.

It's as simple as that. He could. But he chooses not to. God could restore the world without us. But he chooses to restore and redeem using our hands, using our prayers. And looking through the eyes of a parent making stone steps, it helps me understand the mystical experience of prayer.

So your heart asks, what is the point of prayer?

To accomplish things WITH God that only he can do. 

The Hard Part of Praying

If you’re anything like me, then prayer doesn’t come easy. I hear about people who pray for three hours every morning, and my head spins. That’s something to admire, but nothing I could emulate.

So I was amazed and relieved when I read what the great poet and philosopher John Donne said about his prayer life.

“I throw myself down in the Chamber, and I call and invite God and his angels. And when they are there, I neglect both God and his angels. For the noise of the fly, the rattling of the coach, and the whining of the door. I remember yesterday’s pleasures, tomorrows fears and dangers, a straw under my knee, a noise in my ear, a light in my eye, and anything, and nothing. All troubles me in my prayer.”

When I quiet myself, open my mind to God, every little detail about the room floods my mind. A straw under my knee, or the discomfort of my chair. Details of my life come to the surface. And the time I set for God soon becomes clogged with the irrelevant, mundane, and trivial. Why is it that when I sit down to pray, prayer becomes so hard? 

Teresa of Avila, another saint of prayer, admitted to shaking the sand in her hourglass to make her prayer hour go faster.

More times than I'd care to admit, I sat down for my penciled time on my schedule to pray, only to glance at my watch, making sure it hadn't stopped.

We can quickly assume that the famous saints that were known as great people of prayer, that it came easy to them. But those we so quickly respect struggled in the very things we respect them for.

So that’s the problem, what’s the solution?

1. Know that the barriers you face in your prayer life are not unique. We all experience the same hindrances, even the saints.

2. We need to understand that these barriers are not unbreakable. Persist in discipline. My point is that we shouldn’t glorify the progress of the saints without embracing the difficulty they faced. The same spiritual breakthroughs are possible for us today.

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What other barriers have you faced in your prayer life?