The Pain of Unanswered Prayer

The question isn't, "If I pray, is God going to come through?"

In the spirit of keeping things honest, this is the question that hurts my heart, "Why does God sometimes comes through and answer our prayers, and sometimes He doesn't?"

Good people. Faithful people. Holy people. Offering very serious, honest prayers to a loving God. 

Sometimes He answers. Sometimes He doesn't.

One parent loses a child. Another's is miraculously saved. 

Cancer will miraculously heal. Other times kill. 

Some barren women beat all odds and give birth. Others remain childless. 

So what are we to make of the inconsistency. 

Of all of the examples of prayer I could give you, both answered and unanswered, I have picked two from Scripture. 

The first in Exodus 32. 

God's anger for the golden calf idolatry would bring the destruction of Israel. And God told Moses that he would create a new nation through him. 

God tells Moses, "I have seen these people (Israelites) and they are a stiff-necked people. Now leave me alone so that my anger may burn against them and that I may destroy them. Then I will make you (Moses) into a great nation." 

But Moses sought the favor of God. He prayed, as if to remind God of his love, patience, and promises for Israel. And God relented his anger. 

This is a fantastic story of how a humble man's prayers directly affected an outcome. It's easy to read this passage. Even easier to teach it, as if all you need is humility, a right relationship with God, and a faithful prayer to get what you earnestly want. 

But we contrast this story to one we read in 2 Corinthians. 

Here, we have Paul, presumably an equal to Moses' humility, relationship to God, and faithfulness to prayer. Paul talks vaguely about a 'thorn' in his flesh, given to torment him. Three times he prayed to God for healing. And God's response shakes my idea of prayer, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness." 

Or, more simply put, "No." 

So how do we view prayer in light of these two contrasting Biblical narratives? 

My attempt:

Do our prayers change the way events will unfold? Yes.

Do they ALWAYS change the way events will unfold? No. 

Does this make sense to me? Not really. 

Is this something that I can accept? Yes. 

In these two biblical accounts, we get to see behind the scenes and hear what God is thinking. But for every other extra-biblical account of prayer, we never truly know why some prayers get answered, and some don't.

Whatever cosmic and mysterious answers there are, we will likely never know. 

So I pray earnestly, knowing that my prayer COULD change the course of events. 

And when they don't, I rest in the sovereignty of God knowing that He is in control, even if that means a painful circumstance for myself or loved ones. 

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How have you come to peace with unanswered prayer?  

Remaining Ignorant

I think it would be easier if I would have just remained ignorant. Life is easier that way.

Its harder to sleep at night knowing that there are 27 million slaves in the world.

Its harder to wake up on Sunday morning and find out that the Kentucky Wildcats pulled ahead and beat the Bulldogs after I went to bed.

Its harder to love after knowing a wound so deep.

It would be easier to remain ignorant. But that would be foolish, wouldn’t it.

And a lot of times, I feel that reading Scripture complicates life, rather than simplifies. Take the book of Job for instance. Life would be simpler had I not read the book of Job.

To surmise, Satan makes a wager with God. Satan claims that Job only worships God for what God has done for Job. God suggests otherwise. God allows Satan to strip Job of all blessings to see where Job’s worship rests.

Job suffered.

Job suffered more than I could ever imagine.

Job suffered because his faith in God mattered to God. For no other reason than it mattered to God.

He didn’t deserve to lose his children.

He had no great sin that ruined his financial enterprise.

Simply put, Job’s misery mattered to God.

It would be easier for me to allow you to remain ignorant. But that would be foolish, wouldn’t it. I want you to know that your suffering, your faith, matters to God.

My suffering matters to God.

In the end, Job is restored. God healed Job. But that wasn’t the point of the wager. God and Satan wanted to see if Job would worship God even if Job was never restored. Would you worship God if your suffering never ended? Would I?

That question hurts, doesn’t it? It hurts like a scalpel. Cutting deep. But this deep cut is for healing purposes.

What would it take to make today’s ‘No’ become tomorrow’s ‘Yes’?

What I learned from playing Apples to Apples

So there we were.

Sitting on the floor playing Apples to Apples. It was a group of us twentysomethings hanging out for the first time. The circle was mixed with old coworkers and new friends.

I flipped over my card and it read ‘Mid-Life Crisis’. I muttered under my breath, “More like a ‘Quarter-Life Crisis’.” I’ll never forget what I saw in that moment. Everyone’s eyes slowly widened, they looked at me and muttered one word “Yes...!” Especially Kevin. Kevin has it all together. Kevin is incredibly relational, independent and respectable. And I could tell from Kevin’s face that he knew this term all too well.

I couldn’t believe how those three words threaded us all together. A quick John Mayer quote and I could tell that everyone there felt the same way I did.

It’s the who’s what’s when’s where’s and why’s that petrify us, isn’t it? It’s the feeling of wasted time, the fear that we’re doing it wrong while everyone watching. Or worse, nobody cares.

I’m sure most of you reading can relate. Is it refreshing to know that most people at your stage of life feel the same way? Even those of us who ‘look’ like we have it together, don’t have it together. At best, they’re winging it. But maybe that’s the point. Maybe its time for us to let go of ‘needing to know’ and worrying about if we have it together or not.

To quote John Lennon,

“Life is just what happens to you while your busy making other plans.”

Be present. Always learn.

I say all of this for two reasons. First, I want you to know that you’re not alone. And second, I need to hear this more than anyone else.

Lastly, I leave you with what Jesus said on the topic.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:25, 33-34)